For this week’s bog post, I decided to write a creative response to Gish Jen’s “Who’s Irish”. The narrator of the story seems to be troubled by the way in which her daughter, as well as her Husband (and his Irish family) lead their lives. She constantly reminded her daughter, Natalie of what people in China do, and how people in China raise their children. I decided to write some of the events from the story in Natalie’s point of view, instead of her Mother’s. Ready? Here we go:
In China people do this, In China people do that. That’s all I ever seem to hear leave the mouth of my Mother. Constantly reminding me of how I am not leading a proper Chinese lifestyle. It’s hard coming home after a long day at the bank to Mother’s constant nagging. After receiving my promotion to Vice President at the bank, it has become even harder to listen to her rambling. I’m tired. I’m always tired. Tired of hearing my Mother’s complaints. Tired of my husband, John, not having a job. Tired of trying to control my three year old daughter, Sophie.
Sophie, as my Mother would say, is a wild child. Or in her words “doesn’t act Chinese, because the Irish side had swallowed her whole”. Sophie refuses to wear clothes, constantly taking them off allowing her skin to catch the wind as she runs freely. Mother says it’s because of how she’s being raised, because of our “crazy” old babysitter Amy. Amy wore clothes Mother deemed as too small, and did useless things not suited for young women such as play guitar. It’s true, she did allow Sophie to get away with running around naked, but it’s not entirely her fault. Sophie’s just a different kind of child, one Mother can’t understand. That’s because my Mother is stuck in a cultural time warp. Leading her life with traditional Chinese values in a modern day American Suburbia. In short, the two don’t mix.
I have no support, no one to turn to. Mother doesn’t believe in the word supportive. It’s like a foreign language to her. I can’t depend on John (well, I can depend on him to go to the Gym), as he can’t seem to hold a job. I can’t depend on my Father, as he died years ago, leaving my Mother and I alone. I can’t depend my daughter (she’s only three, not to mention she in incapable of listening). I’m alone. Surrounded by bank statements, and memos, and board meetings. I need sleep. I need support. I need someone to lean on, to listen and understand.
After Amy quit babysitting Sophie, I had to ask Mother for help. She complained as usual. “Daughters shouldn’t depend on their Mothers. It should be the other way around” (except in broken English). But none the less, she did it (we can’t afford a babysitter anyway). As I mentioned before, Mother doesn’t understand this culture, she lives in the past. I didn’t want to leave Sophie with her, and I tried to tell her Sophie is hard to handle, and how it’s not ok to hit your child, and how yelling won’t help, and how we don’t live in China anymore-she doesn’t listen. She yells. She spanks. She attempts to instill all if these dated Chinese ideas on Sophie and myself. It doesn’t work, and she gets angry. There’s no reasoning with her. I come home from work only to find that Sophie hasn’t eaten all day as punishment from Mother. I can’t take it.
One day I came home from work, exhausted as usual to find Mother and Sophie not home. John said he’d been home for an hour and he had not seen them (he didn’t look for them either, typical). After looking everywhere, we headed to the park, where Mother would take Sophie in the afternoon if she were good that day. We found her there, poking into a hole in the playground, dirt everywhere. She had scared Sophie into a hole, and she was too scared to come out. She’s only three. You can’t spank a three year old like she does. Or yell at one with such harsh words. When John finally got her out she had bruises all over her body. I couldn’t look at Mother, I couldn’t believe she had taken things so far. What was she thinking? How could she do that to a child? How could she think like that? We walked home in silence. My mind racing, my heart pumping with anger in every beat. When we arrived home I told Mother she needed to leave. I couldn’t let her stay any long. Not after what happened.
She left. And I’m still alone, supporting myself, tired. I need help, but I have nowhere to turn, no one to lean on. I’m stuck here. Not going anywhere.
Brie, I'm so glad you decided to take a creative approach! This was a great idea. I think it illustrates the extent to which point of view affects our reading of the characters. In your version of the story, the grandmother seems much less sympathetic to me. I wonder if this is because of the humor Jen is able to add to the story by writing from the grandmother's perspective?
ReplyDeleteHi Brie,
ReplyDeleteIt is very interesting to read your post, and since I knew a lot about Chinese culture, I would like to reply you using grandmother’s perspective. I hope this will match your post and at least I think it would be fun. Here we go:
I know it is hard for Natalie to fully learn the Chinese culture without really seeing it, especially, she is growing up in a different environment. I was raised up in a full Chinese culture and Chinese environment, and that is the only way I know how to raise her up. Also, there is nothing wrong with the Chinese culture anyways. I don’t know why would she pick an Irish husband, he is useless and his blood is affecting the personality of Sophie.
I am very upset that no one knows my true feeling. I used to be a strong, fierce and straight forward woman, even the gangster who came for protection money are scared of me, and now…. I was treated as an old and useless woman, I am taking care of their baby and they don’t even appreciate me. In terms of “useless”, I think John should have more credit than I. I don’t know what is wrong with the way I am teaching Sophie, she is too wild and she needs to learn some lessons, I am trying my best to teach and punish her before she grew up to be crazier and do something horrible. In China, kids get spank when they don’t listen to their parents or do something wrong. That is how they learn the good manner and right conducts.
Nobody, nobody understands my feeling and for them, I am just an old and useless woman. I feel very pathetic of myself, I promised my husband to unite the family as whole whenever I am still alive, but now…… I don’t know how am I going to face him after I die.
Brie,
ReplyDeleteYour post is absolutely awesome! After Dr. K talked about it being a creative piece, I just had to marvel in it's genius, and I have to say, I am marveled. You really captured Natalie's persona in this piece. In the original story, we get a sense that she is a typical American girl who happens to have a Chinese mother. You took that and went on a whole new level. We feel Natalie's exhaustion at her mother, her husband, and her daughter.
What I like most about your post is that nowhere in Natalie's thoughts is there any Momma-bashing. Although Natalie is a typical American girl, she would never disrespect her mother, which shows that there are some Chinese cultural beliefs inside her, even if she doesn't realize it. You also incorporate specific occurrences that happen in the original story, and use those occurrences to add onto the character.
I also really like how the husband/wife relationship is brought into the foreground in your story. Gish shows the grandmother's frustrations with John, but never in the story do we hear how Natalie feels about him. There are moments where they converse, and she and he seem to agree on what needs to be done, but never do we get to see her reaction to her husband's unemployment. I like that she is upset and frustrated with him. I know I would be über-pissed if my husband didn't have a job and refused to help me with taking care of our child, especially if I had to work overtime in order to keep our lifestyle.
First of all, I love how you took a creative approach to your blog. Although I am not a big fan of Natalie personally and viewed the grandmother as my favorite character in the reading, I find it very interesting that you put it in Natalie’s view as opposed to the grandmother’s view since the story mainly focuses on the grandmother’s point of view on everything anyways. I agree on Natalie’s point of view about her not being able to rely on her husband, since he can’t hold a job and seems like he doesn’t care about finding another job as he spends all his time at the gym.
ReplyDeleteI personally disliked Natalie’s husband. Although, people give the grandmother a hard time for being harsh on Natalie’s husband and Irish people because she does not understand them or their culture that well, Natalie’s husband could be seen just as guilty by doing the same thing. He would put down the grandmother and Natalie’s family including during the scene after the grandmother is caught poking Sophie with a stick. Natalie’s husband says “Your family”, meaning to say it as a put down to Natalie’s family (Jen, 185).
Although, Natalie feels like she can’t rely on her mother either, I think she actually can rely on her if she would just give her a chance. After all, Natalie’s mother did get Sophie to stop taking off her clothes and she did raise Natalie plus she does want to be in her granddaughter’s life. The grandmother does have many years of parenting experience so I truly feel because of all that I mentioned, Natalie can rely on her when it comes down to it.
I feel though, Natalie shouldn’t blame her father for not being able to rely on him cause he died since death is a natural thing that happens in life and Natalie’s father cannot help it that he died. It was just his time to go.
I really enjoyed your blog posting through Natalie’s point of view. I liked how Natalie could finally tell her side of the story. Your blog was very well written.
When I read Jen's version for class, I felt total sympathy for the grandmother. When I saw that your post was written in Natalie's voice, I expect that all my sympathy for the grandmother would have disappearred. Instead, I feel sympathy for both of them. I still feel bad for the grandmother because her daughter is writing mean things about her. But I also feel sorry for Natalie. From Jen's story, we don't see how alone she was but you brought that out. I am currious as to why Natalie, as the narrator, demands sympathy for her loneliness but doesn't even consider that her mother is also lonely and maybe even more so.
ReplyDeleteHi, Brie,
ReplyDeleteI really like this letter in the eyes of Natalie. It's so sensational and it touches me a lot. Because the story is told by the narrator grandma, it leads us to understand the whole matter with a grandma's perspective. And it's easy for us to sympathize Grandma, who faces the culture gap. I guess most of you guys stand on the side of grandma and naturally ignore the feeling of Natalie, just like me. It's very interesting, because it makes more sense for us to understand Natalie more because of our age.
But now, from the letter you create, I suddenly feel that the life is not easy for grandma, but at the same time, it's also very struggling for Natalie. Firstly, as you talked about, Natalie takes a lot of pressure. She has to take care of the family and let her husband be a man, who she cannot lean on. She has to face her mother who always push her and misunderstand her, who doesn't know the word supportive. She has to take care of the wild Sophie. I really like the last paragraph of your article, you say that "She left. And I’m still alone, supporting myself, tired. I need help, but I have nowhere to turn, no one to lean on. I’m stuck here. Not going anywhere." How sad and strengthless she feels!
Secondly, from my personal and my friends' experience, I know when your parents care about you too much, then the care turns to be pressure, which will make you want to escape. Especially when you are already an adult, you don't want your life to be controlled by others, even they are your parents. I think this is the principle. You give birth to a child, but it doesn't mean you can control his or her fate. They live their own life, just like you.
At last, I want to say that it is hard to say whose fault it is. Life is too complicated. But I'm sure that Natalie and grandma need more communication with each other. Learn to understand and tolerate. Learn to stand on the other's position. Maybe that can make things better.